loving the time to myself and my soul.
then feel guilty.
this is the noise my mind makes:
'could be saving more money if i worked more'
'but i don't care about more money'
'but you do care to travel and see your parents'
'but you could give up other things in life *ahem* like lattes'
i am enjoying getting 9 hrs of sleep a night,
waking up and going on long walks in the parks,
making an actual healthy breakfast,
and then cleaning house everyday.
i find myself a much more rounded person.
i have a lot more to give others.
i am able to spend at least an hour a day reading (for enjoyment).
i am so much more active.
i have the energy to walk and ride bike everywhere.
we are making it just fine if i only work 3 days a week...
but if i worked more then i could buy peter all his bike rain gear.
and i could pay for my brother to come up here (and convince him to move).
hell, i could by all my friends a ticket up here.
i want to share my money.
i could work more so that peter can quit his life-sucking-pain-in-his-ass-job!
and i could get benefits so that peter can work anywhere he wants!
*sigh*
so i have my second interview tomorrow to start at that nanny agency. i still am not sure if i am going to take it or not. i know i would love the actual job. but then other areas of my life seem to start eating away at my time spent feeding my soul. i absolutely love watching kids. i am just a but leery... well you heard the conversation...
3 comments:
sometimes i wish i worked less--- for the very reasons you stated. i think the 40 hour work week is lame. whoever came up with that being a full-time job.... can't we compromise and go for 4 days a week? it's so hard to not let money get into you head... some days i envision just walking out on my good-paying job and getting a job a coffee shop or something that allowed me more time to spend with my community, with myself, with God....i'll be praying for you Lauren!
Working shouldn't be your goal in life as you know. It sounds as if right now you are pretty balanced. Taking time for yourself, getting good rest and good food. Sometimes as women we feel guilty for taking care of ourselves. I can identify the things you are feeling about wanting to do for others, etc. That day when you can do that will probably come at some point too. Don't feel pressured to take the nanny job. If it is the right time and thing you will know it. Your transparency is an encouragement to me.
i really like your conversations with yourself. i have those on a daily basis.
all i'm gonna say is enjoy this time in life while you can. free time is hard to come by the older you get. i'm jealous.
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