heroes and graces

i just wanted to thank you- portland- for being so good to us.
thank you to the hostess with the mostess: jobe.
he has shared his secrets, his friends, and his photos with us.
this last week has been nothing but amazing.
every few days, i have this thought 'i actually live here...i really do have anything that i ever wanted at my finger tips. and not only do i get the culture, food, and beauty of portland...the people hear are so genuine.'

my job is amazing. for those of you who care, i work at Nolita. it is a boutique located in the pearl district which translates to really fancy area wear gay men flock to walk their small dogs. even so, i have come to love my routine of taking a 20 min drive across the beauty of a river, through down town, and park in a garage only to walk a few blocks to my work. on my breaks i walk next door and sit in one of the many city parks- which has a bocce ball area, a super cool fountain like area for kids and their parents, and is bordered by a few great boutiques and coffee shops. i work thursay, friday, and saturday. and their is only four of us who work there, so it will soon become my work family. i love each one of them. and i don't think i mentioned this; but on saturday when we closed to shop- my boss promptly brought out pbr tall cans and passed one out to each of us and we sat around for an hour and just bs'd. it was truly amazing! so i am officially in love with this whole new job thing.

so after getting my schedule figured out at the shop i was able to look for a second job for monday, tuesday, and wednesday. i found one in just a few hours!! i signed up to work for a nanny agency up here. it's probably the best kept secret you will ever come across. once they check my references and do a background check (which takes about 2 weeks) they will call me each of those mornings and ASK me of i want to work. i have the option to say no at any point. so i could be with a different family everyday or i could find one family i want to stay with. either way i get paid up starting at 11.50 per hr, and some jobs pay up to $18!!! oh, and i get benefits! i pretty much was sold at that point. i only had one question for the agency: how often will i realistically get a phone call about work; her reply was...we have so many families who want help that you could make a full-time position out of this! hooray!

cheers to portland.

over the line!

so i am reading 'under the banner of heaven' by jon krakauer and it happens to me one of the most frightening things i have ever read (yes, even more then goosebumps). this is no horror book. it is only the journalists reports of what he has come to find about the fundamentalist mormons. these are the mormons who have been forbidden from the the church of latter day saints and have gone off to the desolate places of northern america to start what they feel is the TRUE Mormonism that joseph smith intended. and these followers participate in polygamy. the book contains interviews with some of these girls who have been child brides and i cannot begin to explain the eerie stories that they actually lived, and in some instances continue to live. 

i originally picked out this book so that i could learn more on the history of mormonism and how people can follow such a young religion. i have always been dumbfounded with the attraction to such legalism. but the more and more i read about joseph smith, the more and more i realize how easy it can be. (i know this sounds crazy, but you must get this book!) and now reading farther and farther into this book i am stricken with the thought; if fundamentalism is just the result of following the original scripts quite literally- they are only doing what they feel they need to gain salvation. and for that matter, all fundamentalists are doing the best they can do. 

a lot of us like to look at the islamic fundamentalists (or feminists, christians, mormons) and point our finger. 

'what they hell do they think they are doing?'

'how crazy can you be?'

'they must be stupid to follow that guy!'

however, with the faith that you believe in what you do. that is the same faith that they believe in what they do! they believe they are saving the world. they are not doing it out of revenge or with a harmful intention. they honestly believe they are saving themselves and the world for the greater good. 

now i am not saying i agree with any of this, but i do have a greater sympathy for those who walk such a hard line. not only are they dedicating their whole life to their faith, they dedicate those around them to their faith. now i think this is a little more hardcore then wearing black zip ups and listening to terror terror terror.

sunday not to be confused with sundae

there is something about sundays that makes me sigh.

sigh with relief.

sigh with exhaustion.

sigh with sweet breathe.

sigh out of thankfulness.

i love sundays.

i was raised waking up and going to church EVERY sunday, no matter if i wanted to or not. my parents gave me no choice. and as much as i hated it at the time, i owe them big. no matter the theological struggle i am ever going through, i have chosen to be a part of church. most of them time i lose complete faith in the church itself. how many people we turn away, how we spend our money (the biggest issue i have), and who we are and what we do. in the midst of this confusion i do know one thing.

I AM THE CHURCH.

WE ARE THE CHURCH.

i can sit around and complain about how irrelevant the church is and decide that my faith in the Lord stands alone without the corrupt institution or i can choose to participate in the corrupt institution and try and seek out the true intention with other fallen people. 

all this to say, sundays are an ending for me. for some reason my brain needs to experience a sunday to chapter off a period of time that has passed. it gives me a time to reflect and begin. 

a bad week, sunday brings closure.

a good week, sunday brings thanksgiving.

a melancholy week, sunday brings contemplation.

sigh.

we made it

the drive was unreal. there is no way i could 'prepare' to feel what i have felt the last few days. though we have been planning on moving since october 07, there was no way to foresee all the emotions that encompass a move. we have longed for a change in all areas of our life and i think that change is necessary to continue to survive. but man... does it hurt.  and then at the same time i couldn't wait to get to a city with everything we want at our fingertips (or even within 3 blocks). and then starting a new job... oh the nerves! what the hell do know? i need patience for those people who will become good friends. and in no way will our portland friends replace our redding friends, but i need to be open. you never know who will become you new friend. i need acceptance for the pacific northwest weather; the good, the bad, and the ugly. since we have been here it has been sprinkling. and oh how refreshing. however i am not naive and i know in a few months when it has been sprinkling everyday that i need to stay strong and not hate my life. and then i few months after that when that first day of sunshine comes and reveals all the green, i will be in love. and all that waiting will be worth it. 

never underestimate hope!

hot hot heat

i am done with this heat in redding.

it is 10:06 pm and it still reads 98!!!

the last four days i have eaten just one meal a day, only because it's so hot you don't even want to prepare a meal. however i have eaten more ice cream then one should be able. and boy have we gotten creative with how many ways you can consume ice-cream:

ice-cream sundaes

ice-cream sandwiches

gelato

popsicles

milkshakes

frappicinos

fudge pops

frozen fruit bars

no lie, this is all we eat!

this is one thing that i will not miss about redding. not one bit. nothing you could convince me is good about heat.

you say lakes, i say floating trash.

you say tan, i say cancer.

you say picnic, i say ant bites.

even when i think about the opportunity to have an iced coffee, i think about the non-chance of a delicious perfectly rich foamy (hot) latte. 

and i don't know if you would agree with me ladies, but there is a lot more that can be done with a wardrobe in the cooler months.

 i am also pretty sure that God spends his summers in Monterey or Carmel.

dreamy desires

chocolate cupcakes with cheesecake icing

an expensive haircut

soft cognac leather purse

wood grain velocity deep v bicycle rims

a fancy beer

pointy black flats

a double date with alyssa and nick

summer rain

coffee with brother steven

life supply of chips and salsa

long flowing hippy dress

the wonder years on a box set

a vanilla latte from albina press

sigor ros concert tickets

these are just some fun things that would be nice to indulge in. tell me your fun desires?

dear redding part 3

All of these beautiful people have made up chapters in my life that are each unforgettable and undeniably influential on my development over the years in redding. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I treasure each and every one of these people.

Joe, Jordan, Gabe.

The Dunlap's, Matt, Josh and Andrea, Derek.

Jill and Amy Childers, Noah.

TJ, Taylor, Joe and Steve Black.

David, Scott and Lindsey, Todd and Deborah.

Holly.

Joey, of course.

Lexi.

Allison and Ericka.

Alyssa*.

Nancy and Evan.

Sister and Kelly R.

Dinah and Phil.

Curt, Nate, Tyler, and Sean.

Tim and Kalin, Brent, Sandy.

Zach and Kelly.

Jensen family and Faires family.

Christian.

Peter Black** 

*Alyssa is an honorable mention; she never actually lived in Redding but she visited often and our entire best friendship has been long distance and primarily over the phone while I resided in Redding.

** He may be the last on this list but defiantly not the least. He has been in each one of these chapters playing the love of my life. Each one of these memories, he has given them purpose and reason when I could not find any. Basically he is my knight in shining armor, and I recommend everyone to get them a little Peter Black.

weirdness vs. quirky

once you start to get to know me there are some pretty weird things in life that i notice and drive me bonkers. most people would think of me as crazy if i tried to explain these factors of life and for some reason i feel compelled to do just that:

• hot feet syndrome: tonight after a lovely dinner with team coverdale (who will soon be team portland) i was walking around downtown and discussing how in hot weather- my feet heat up faster then anything else on my body. sometimes all i can think about is how hot my feet are and all i want to do is get in a pool as soon as possible. the heat consumes me and then becomes a rage!!! yes, i know- quite strange!
• bones: i have this extreme dislike of feeling bones, most times even seeing bones (only the kind of bones when you see a super skinny girl and her hip bone sticks out a few inches over her jeans). however, it is only if they are under flesh! i looove anatomy, and if i had enough money i would go to the human body exhibit in turtle bay right now. i love dissecting, and i don't mind eating chicken legs. it is just this disgust with bones covered by flesh?!? when i put my hands to my sides and they brush against my hips...i freak out. or when peter tickles me and hits one of my ribs- i instantly squeal. sometimes i can mentally imagine my toes squeezed together in my shoes and i freak out at the thought of my joints rubbing together. i can handle blood and guts but when people have injuries where there broken arm is poking out of their skin... there is no way i can cope with that.
• communication majors in college: i dunno why, but i immediately judge you.  just being honest here folks.
• flip flops: it may be because i live in california, and for some reason they are excepted as the shoe for all occasions. but i feel as if flip flops are an accident waiting to happen. wether it be walking down the street and getting it caught in crack, tripping, stubbing your toe and it bleeding all the way back home. or when you have a flip flop blow it in the middle of the grocery store. now what? you have to either leave your cart half full in the middle of the aisle, or limp along and and try to make it a little less discreet then it actually is. then there are the days you where them to the pool, you get home after a long day and oh goody you have a great flip flop sunburn that will stay with you the rest if the summer no matter how many times you lay out and try and fix it. 
• bachelorette parties: i have yet to go to one that is actually fun. i believe that it was girls response to the guys rebellion. every single one i have ever gone to was a good way to spend an evening, but you also spend the whole night wishing the guys would show up at some point. haven't you noticed that guys will talk about a specific bachelor party for many years to come. i have never talked about a bachelorette party, not even the next day. someone please, prove me wrong and have a great one!

so now you know a little more how this lady ticks. some people may call me a pessimist but i would like to call myself a realist.

beyond thankful

In last week or so, I have been overwhelmed with blessing. Not luck, it is a blessing. I have never made so many huge decisions so fast and it's all God's hand. This week and weekend has been great in Portland! We are home safe and have now decided we are moving on August 19th!

I got a job at an AMAZING boutique with an AMAZING owner.

Peter's transfer was approved by the manager at his new Starbucks.

We were having some trouble getting approved with the apartment situation because they want to know our exact income, and hours, and pay!!! Well working at a coffee shop is not very 'exact'. The hours change from week to week and we have no clue what another state will pay him? Anyhow, we both decided (after having a frustrating meeting with the apartment management) that we would be completely fine if we needed to crash on some friend's couches for awhile. We were content with whatever cards we were dealt. 

Then came the BLESSED phone call.

Peter's truck sold!!!

His truck has been for sale for the last 4 months and with the economy the way it is we thought for sure it wouldn't move any time soon. Thank you Lord! So now I can call tommorrow and hopefully be able to secure our apartment with 3 months rent!!! 

dear redding part 2

So we just walked, actually biked, to a coffee shop down the street from Joey's and low and behold there are a few friends who have moved up here to Portland from Redding. As big as this city is, there is still the small town feel that I have come to know and love while being in Redding. Thus as my reflection continues I will recall a list of greatness that only Redding can encumber. 

1. Sue's: Through the years you have been a host of so many memories. Starting with meeting the Pool's there (plus Andrea) after church on Sunday's, watching Zach and Peter through things at each other and give us many a free cup of coffee. Then there were the middle years where I would meet with a couple girls; Allison, Lindsey, and any honorary guests to talk about life and somehow always ended up talking about church politics. And now Sue's is beautifully employed with a blessed group of people who go out of there way in getting to know Peter and I and who I will forever be thankful for these last few months of delicious brew.
2. The Manor: There are many lives that have been tangled together indefinitely through these outdated and glorious apartments. My journey started with the Dunlap's who introduced us to Matt, Josh and Derek who were able to refer Peter and Jordan to Apt# 31 who then referred David, Scott, and Gabe who would swim with my great gem of a friend, Holly. Holly barged in to Peter and Joey's apt and explained to us that she has been watching us from across the way and obviously we were destined to be friends. (and we were!) Then when Peter moved to a bigger and nicer apartment on the river, we were able to live next to Amy who married Jeremy. All this to say, thank you dear manor for the good times and sunsets galore.
3. Refuge: Wow, this community of people has been a far greater model of community then I could have ever imagined. This conglomerate of  people has morphed more then any Transformer. (I would also go so far to say that it would be their superpower) We started in Neighborhood Church, moved to a beautiful house downtown, hosted some AMAZING Halloween parties, served some breakfasts, and most of all loved each other. And of course there have been some challenging moments, we got through them and have since started a church service designed for young adults. Thank you Todd for being with me from the wee age of 13. Thank you David for keeping us motivated at the Well. Thank you Bill for driving my love of theology and the knowledge of Biblical languages. Thank you!
   

Dear Portland, you have a lot to live up to. And dear loyal bloggers and blog lurkers please visit Peter's blog to find out how our trip has gone so far. Dear Redding, there is more love to be had on this rambling of a website that I call a blog.