"the world is a vampire"

she was so loved.

she had so much worth.

but she didn't feel anymore.

she couldn't feel...

it was her choice.

we all make choices.

sometimes we don't think about them.

sometimes we think about them too much.

she couldn't think for herself anymore.

too tired.

too ruined.

she only heard one voice.

not her own.

not His.

but one who wishes to rob us of our choice.

he won last night.

she chose not to fight anymore.

a battle was lost.

movie madness rented boxed sets are $5!

peter and i have traded off this awful cold for the last month. as a result we have stayed in and watched a lot of tv. when i say tv, i mean we rent boxed sets of televisions shows. (and i am not gonna lie, we have done it a lot more then this past month.) so hear is my input:

six feet under: best television show of all time! the writing accomplishes so much more then entertaining you for the allotted time given to the show. it penetrates your daily conversations and you will bring the message with you throughout your work week. i know this sounds a bit dramatic... but i haven't met one person that doesn't agree. the premise is a family who owns and operates a funeral home and how they deal with death on many different levels. it is a hbo show it plays on hbo for a reason.

sopranos: if you know me you know i am OBSESSED with anything to do with the mafia. so of course i loved everything about this show. great acting as well, james ganolfini may be my hero. and it deals with the twisted government vs. some folks that run the neighborhood as they think it should be run. which is worse: bad cops or gangsters? hbo as well.

entourage: this is just more then silly mindless television with a big budget, but so very very entertaining. sad thing is, i don't think this is far from the truth for most of hollywood. yep- hbo.

heroes: this was at peter's request. i have never wanted to watch this. and i could give or take it it after watching most of the first season. not a big fan.

my next adventure: mad men or carnival.

any other suggestions are welcome

window gazing

drops weigh the branch into a doe-si-do

and i sigh with the knowledge of my ignorance

too many days have been set with my stagnation

i know i need to...

say something...

anything.

but no words will be thought aloud without the Source.

and that is where i fall short.

how do i expect to speak while being so far removed from the Voice.

i do it to myself.

i hoard the silence instead of sharing the room with Him.

how does someone so lowly forget my place time and time again?

as if my priorities are of more value then the lost souls needing redirection...

ah ha

it is me who needs that redirection.

who will find me and point me too the Way?

someone who has chosen to share the room with Him.

they have spent time with the Source and listened to the Voice.

she found me again and i asked for the Way.

off i go...

wish list

life is full

full of greatness, full of activity, but too full for relaxation.

i am on day 9 of working 13 days in a row, so i apologize ahead of time for this attempt at blogging.

peter and i had our first 2 days off together last weekend.

it was about 9 o'clock on a friday night.

i had received a few texts earlier that day from redding friends and voiced my love and how much i missed everyone.

and just like that we were on our way (through the night) to see everyone.

we arrived at wes's at 5 in the morning, slept for a few hours and woke up with the help of sue's java. delightful.

everyone was just where they were supposed to be on a saturday morning in redding and we had a grand ole circle going on outside of sues.

the weekend was perfect.

no preconcived expectations.

just perfect.

i am sure it would of been smarter to stay in portland and rest.

we didn't have the money to spend. (ohh the credit card)

but i am not sure the next time peter and i will have 2 days off together again?

and as i always say...

life is too short to be 'safe' with money.

my downfall?

probably.

10 things i want to do before i am 30

i consider myself ambitious, but in no way do i hold myself to ridiculous standards. so here are a few things that i would love to do within the next 6 years, and will try my hardest to make it happen. sometimes i get so scared and panicky about life being so short, so if i give myself somewhat of a timeline, it helps me unpack all my dreams...

1. get a full sleeve.

2. have a career. already got one degree down and not using it... hopefully this next one will be put to use...

3. take a road trip around the country. i feel the need to see whats here near me before going overseas any more then i already have. besides, once i am a nurse (see #2) then we can afford europe. at least, i hope.

4. see radiohead, tom petty, sigor ros, and michael jackson live. obviously not at the same time. but that would be a hilarious crowd of fans.

5. have a full bedroom set. you know, like a real adult. i want a low profile bed, with a night-stand, a dresser, maybe an armoire, and a vanity. ohhh, how i want i real vanity. there is something so feminine about a vanity.

6. go whale watching again. hopefully off the coast in seattle. i have heard you can see the orkas migrate. so far i have just seen humpback whales in hawaii.

7. have a family reunion of some sort. i would love to be able to see all my relatives and family together in texas. as well as a separate black family reunion. there are so many stories to be heard and shared. 

8. love, love, love, and love even more. i feel like we have been known as a very hospitable and welcoming team. we have housed many a friend. sometimes just for a weekend, and sometimes for a few months. it is what we do. and i love helping out by loaning out what little we have.

9. be a member of a church.

10. go on a backpacking trip. yes peter, you are reading this correctly. we all know i am a wuss, but who has time to be a sissy.

this is my life...

i just wanted to share with you all how much cuteness i have in my job...

it is exhausting. yet more rewarding then most jobs i have had.

and just when i am about to snap, he does something so spontaneously cute i just can't handle it.

he is my pride and joy and i gladly bring him to coffee dates and picnics in the park.