can you smell it?

fall is in the air and i cannot wait!
fall is by far my favorite season.
there is something about the month of october...
the harvest season brings the smell of the burning fields.
all the crops have been harvested and found homes in our bellies.
oh the uncontrollable woo of smell...
the looming smell is an automatic flashback of my elementary years.
just when i begin to lose hope of remembering the mindless wandering of my wee years...

i smell it...

i smell the last week in october.

when i was maybe 5 or 6 years old...
and every year after that until i was about 10.
that smell would mean halloween!

the most beautiful time of the year.
i would dream about my costume for about two months before i actually got it.
and once i got it...
i would stare at it it's package...*
every day after school, i would pull it out of my closet, lay it on my bed and imagined...
imagined the day i could wear it to school...
imagine the night i would wear it prancing from door to door and collecting my treasures.
treasure that was far greater then any pirate's booty.
but imagine is all!
never, never, never would i dare try it on.
god forbid, i snag the tulle or lace! (i was most always a ballerina or flapper)
or worse...
my sister (clumsiest of all) would come and hug me with cheeto stained fingers!

then the day would come...
i would always get up early, and most times hardly slept the night before.
it was time!
i would slowly pull that package out of my closet,
place it on my bed,
unsnap it,
and pull out each piece slowly.
dressing my self with a slow perfection that i relished in.
that which was all frilly and pink...
i would walk down the hall and tell my mom i was ready.

and for that short moment (there was very few of these, as i am one of five kids!) she would drop what she was doing and follow me to the bathroom...
and lift me on to the bathroom counter and begin to apply the mask of what i thought being a woman was all about...
lipstick, blush, and mascara...
and for those five minutes i would feel all tingly with so much attention.
just me and her.
i tried hard not to giggle with excitement-for that may mess up the application of mascara!
i would ever so slowly turn around, and look at myself...
and i would smile a slight smile...
just slight.
i didn't want to share my intense expectations for only the best day of the whole year!
today was the day.
today was the day.

so you see...every year fall comes, and every year that smell that will take me back to the time is of simplicity. such grandiose imagination. i sometimes fear the loss of my own imagination. and all i have to do is smell that smell.




*my mom was not one of those mom's that sewed and even though we were poor, this is one thing she would buy us every year. one of those pre-packaged costumes that hang on a rack and we would buy it at jcpenny's. i loved it just the same. i knew no different. for all i knew, it was just as well thought out as a homemade costume!