priorities

amongst all the deciding factors that will weigh in on life; and all the grand ideas i hear and see; i at times get lost with who i am and who i strive to be in life. so i complied a mental list that i like to remind myself in these states of disarray. some of these are serious matters and others are light reminders.

1. money is not what i am living for. i do not care to have a career for any other reason other then i do what i do because i like it. i have never made a lot of money, and nor do i care to. i consider myself a very hardworking mama, therefore i will work my ass off anywhere i need to. (side note: my first job was the summer i turned 15 and my mom would drop me off every morning at 6:30am and i worked in the warehouse for the school district. most of the time, unloading, loading and dropping off pallets of school supplies. i will say that although it was a ridiculously hard job for a 15 yr old girl- i knew no different and at the time though that was what work is. all that to say- i am not afraid to work at mcdonalds if thats what it takes to pay bills.) i know to many people that get wrapped up in this mentality that they 'need to make it'. so they work 60 hour weeks so that they can get the promotion; only to work another 60 hours a week in a different office... waiting for the next promotion? umm- what are you trying to make it to? and once you make it, then what? 
2. i will always attend church. no matter where i am in my relationship with Christ. i will attend church. even when i HATE the church. i will attend church. even when i feel foolish for believing in something that i cannot see or feel for months at a time. i will attend church. i say this full well knowing that i am really young and have not gone through the 'trials of life' but i am making a vow to myself that i will always attend church. amongst all the great new ideas people have of making their own version, and my especially favorite excuse; 'i think i have a better idea of christianity without the church'. the church has always been there and always will. yes it is fallen, but thank God for it because i am fallen as well.
3. i want to end up doing some sort of missions. i have no clue what this looks like. sometimes i (we) feel led to go into some sort of nursing school to physically help those out in need. and lately we feel like saving to buy land somewhere out in the country...oregon is much more cheap then california. it would be some sort of farm-barn-dorm-commune that serves the community. we would grow organic produce that we would live off of and sell to the local businesses. and offer room and board to those who wish to help out on the farm or just general matenince. i would love to offer a place for those struggling families who wish to work and take a break from bills. once they get their feet underneath them i could hook them up with people in the community who they could make a long term commitment with. pastors could take their sabbatical there. we would love to provide a lovely library full of theological and philosophical reading materials and have a pastor always in sight to give some guidance. 
4. i want to travel the world. not in any sort rich sort of way. i mean trial and error sort of traveling. we are the vacationers who love spontaneous trips (shout out to team adventure) and trying new things. there is just so much to see and so little time. already on my days off i ride the bus, ride my bike, and constantly go to parts of portland where i have never been. sometimes its a bummer, but most times i find a treasure or two. 
5. family is forever. i cannot make decisions based on my friends. for when i do, they let me down. just as i have let down many people. but my family always comes through-in their own sort of way. it is so important to make that extra effort. 
6. i don't do the gym thing. so many times i join the gym and go for a couple months and then spend the rest of the year paying off the damn membership. i will just stick to the outdoors for free.
7. i will adopt at least one child and ideally from a less fortunate situation/country. this is a battle within me. this world is a tough one and so often i think that i should just adopt a child that was already born into this world. on my bad days i think i would never want to bring a child into this world. but then i look at peter and how extraordinary he is and i want a child that will capture him. that will look up to him and be like him. thus is the battle.

these are just some of the for-sure's of the life of lauren. thanks for reading.